A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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