I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
