That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
