so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
