ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
