I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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