ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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