My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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