bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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