Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize