Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
