I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We are two peas in an std pod
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
