never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
