mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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