My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i think my cat just said my name.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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