it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My vagina just recognized that song.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
