ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
