i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
