Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
