I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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