you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
