i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
