Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
