The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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