just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
