I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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