i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
