She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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