All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
