chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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