Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My feet surprised me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
