They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize