Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
