Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
