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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Aren't you in 8th grade?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  9th, but that's not the point.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.

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• (714): View more from California

  He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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• (347): View more from New York

  The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That does not seem like timing

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Sure. But we have to be quiet.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Ninja mode activated

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  she's throwing knives it scares me

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.

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• (315): View more from New York

  She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking

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