I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
