You made me cry and you don't even care
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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