i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
