can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
