I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
