on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
