Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
