I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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