YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
operation harelip BJ is a go
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize