All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
