i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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