Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
