ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
