the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
