I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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