you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
