Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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