Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
