he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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