Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
