How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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