just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
