After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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