oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize