I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
