If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
