I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
