the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Holy sore nipples Batman
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
