It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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