he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
