the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
