As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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