I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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