Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
